God What Are You Doing?! Part 1

“God what are you doing?!” That’s all I could say the moment we found out. That’s all I could say for a week. This summer a group from our church went to Honduras. My husband and I went along on the trip. Immediately when I got back I packed again to go volunteer at the youth camp we go to every year. All during this time I was quietly struggling. Still trying to navigate the grief of losing our son 7 months ago. Then bam, without going into great detail, my husband and I got hit with something that shook us. It shook our relationship. Spiritually, our faces are swollen from all the hits life has given us. Now we were about to get hit with a hook on the side where our eyes are swollen and we didn’t see it coming.

It was the 4th of July and mine and Jesse’s dating anniversary. We had been together for 7 years. We had spent the day with my mom, sisters, my sister’s boyfriend, and my grandmother. We swam in the swimming pool, ate hamburgers, and enjoyed the day. My family lives in Kentucky and we live in Virginia. Before we headed home, Jesse and me stopped by one of my best friend’s home. She’s like a sister to me and her son is like my nephew. We were about to get up and leave when I got a message that mine and Jesse’s friend, Hector (Memin) had possibly drowned. Jesse started to make the calls to Memin’s family to get the facts on what was going on. It was true.

My immediate reactions were disbelief and anger. “We just saw him” I kept telling myself. I remember the first time Memin really spoke to me and he was wanting to get to know me more and he asked when my birthday was and I said “January 20th” and he said “mine is the 27th”. Memin became like a brother to me quickly. I believe he started to look at me as a big sister. He was always asking about girls and asking about relationship advice. He was always so curious and was always asking me questions. He would ask about the Holy Spirit and would ask about how he could deepen his relationship with God. I would talk to him and send him sermons to try to help him. I would try to send him funny pictures on Snapchat to brighten his day.

You couldn’t walk away from meeting Memin without 1. Knowing that he was special, and 2. immediately liking him or wanting to be his friend. Memin was outgoing and loved people. He was pure of heart, sincere about his faith, and genuine. He lived life to the fullest and he told Jesse and me that he never missed an opportunity for anything. He loved to take risks. He didn’t want to miss out on anything life had to offer. He is one of the very few people I have met in my life that just made you feel good and made you feel good about yourself. Sometimes he didn’t have to do anything but smile or laugh and it was like medicine to your broken heart. He would make me laugh and it would make him laugh even harder and he would always say “I love your laugh”.

Sunday, July 1st, Jesse, Memin, and I went to the movies. He had been wanting to see The Incredibles 2. He was so childlike in everything he did. That night after watching the movie, he told me, Jesse, and a group of our friends that his eyes were dry because he did not blink while watching the movie because he was too afraid he would miss something exciting. He also noticed that I had painted my toes red. He told me he liked my toes and he thought they were pretty. He noticed the small things and liked to give compliments.

Tuesday night, July 3rd would be the last time Jesse and I would see him and we will cherish that night for the rest of our lives. He came over to our house and we watched Coco. He was so excited to watch it with us to teach us more about his Mexican culture. By the time Memin left it was around 12:30 a.m.. We went outside and it was a clear night where you could see the stars. We turned off our porch lights to make it darker outside and we told him to look up because you can see the stars really well at our house. Jesse said, “This really shows you how little we are compared to everything else God has made,” and Memin said, “Why do we do that? Make ourselves so big?”. He was just a humble and sweet soul.

I’ve never met someone like Memin and in a short amount of time and have what feels like a lifetimes worth of stories. We felt like we knew him our entire lives. How can someone have such a big impact on the many lives of the people in a community in such a short amount of time? Moments after I found out what happened this verse came to my mind. James 4:14 (ESV) “yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes.”

It was around that time that people started to shoot off fireworks. I thought to myself, Memin was like a firework. Fireworks are just like a mist: they’re here and then they’re gone. Memin was a beautiful firework that was here, he showed us his light, we were awed by his beauty, and then he was gone. Like a firework he burned, wanting to reach new heights with God and he made everyone love him who saw him. After seeing Memin for the last time Jesse and I walked into our home and Jesse said, “I just love him”. I giggled and said, “Yeah, me too”. We never got to tell him that night. Even though I have no doubt he knew we loved him, I still wish we could tell him. Always say “I love you” when you feel it. Don’t let the moment pass you.

Another regret is that we didn’t have any pictures with our beloved friend. “Why didn’t we do that?! After all the times we have hung out in the last 3 months!” we kept asking ourselves. I’ve came into the comfort of knowing I have sweet memories and I know one day we all will be together again. I’m not saying to not take pictures. When the right photo op arises take it. However, don’t let it steal moments from you because you’re worried about getting a picture. Just live it. This is something I’m having to work on.

That night of the accident, as I went to bed, I noticed this verse was featured on my Bible app. 1 John 4:11-12 (ESV) “Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; if we love one another, God abides in us and his love is perfected in us.” God’s love was clearly perfected in Memin. I challenge everyone to start to living like Memin. Love God like he did, always wanting to know more about Him. Love one another. 

• Part 2 to come…….